As I huddled over to Witch Please! The television series I auditioned for, my fingers soared past and steered to a stop at Fawn : the main character and the role I auditioned for. I did it! I was the new Fawn! I galloped home to fabricate the news to Brian.
"Hello? Hey Brian! It's Collete! What? Uhm, Yeah." He was going to see what his girl-loser wanted (let's call her that from now on.) "Hey! Yeah, Sure! I'd love to come over!" I hung up, head hanging. It was an act, a sham, it was a fake happiness.
As I knocked onto the door I remembered the three words that bursted into my ear, broke my heart, and stabbed me in the back. "I Love You." Tears poured into the open air and stained my eyes with the red that was hurt. I hung up the phone and ran to my bed…Why? Why, why, why?! Why did he betray me like that? Why did she do this even though she knew my feelings for him? Why did Brian say that to her? Why did anything happen? And why was it always bad…questions that couldn’t be answered by anyone other than the influence’s that caused them. I picked the phone back up and dialed the number. Her voice was joyous and giddy…what would I say? “Hey! So what’s the good news?Brian told me you said you had good news!” “I auditioned for a tv series and got the part I was rooting for.” I chuckled lightly to add joy to my not-so-joyous moment. “That’s awesome!” As I packed my bags for a sleepover, I re-did my makeup and pulled my hair back. I wore my clothes like I used to, for Nick. Just because he was going out with her doesn’t mean he couldn’t think of me? Right? I knocked onto the enormous brass knocker, a estatic girl-loser came and embraced me with an I’m-So-Glad-You’re-Here hug. Was she trying that hard to keep me happy? “ Is she here?” His voice….it was like home….
“Hi, Brian…” I whispered, faintly hearing the sound of my heart going dun dun dun dun dun! It felt like my heart was going 50 miles per second….he had that effect on people. But, something was off, he was…different. His breath smelt of…beer?! He promised everyone he would NEVER drink! What was wrong with him? Did SHE do this to him? “C’mon in!” Her voice smelt like beer, too. “Thanks.” “Collete!" Brian engulffed me in his oh-so-lovely bear hugs, it felt like…like Brian. “Brian” “Uh, hi!” gosh, why did she have to disturb?! “Oh, right. Sorry, babe, it’s just I haven’t seen Collete in SO long!” I loved how he smiled when I was with him…his voice was like silk, his hair still framed his perfect face, and his eyes enlightened at the sight of…m-me? ! They were kissing?! Right in front of me…well, let them be that way. They weren’t worth it if she knew about my feelings for him. “Uhm, what is this all about?” I demanded. “Oh! We're…kinda dating.” “What?! I mean, cool.” “Yep! BriBri is so amazing!” “So, how did this happen?” “Well, we were at the set of our movie…when he kissed me, it was like we fit like the pieces of a puzzle. He…I-I didn’t know we could connect like that, you know?” “No, I don’t…” “So, Collete, I missed you.” The conversation made it’s way hastily to the living room, a few days later I went back home with, my questions , a promise, and another knife in my back. When would they stop? Would I ever get my chance with Brian? Why did he have breath like that? Were they drunks? They did seem a bit hungover when I came in…ugh! Life. Complicated. Love. A. War.
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